I thought I’d pull something off my LiveJournal for a throwback post today, and was surprised to see that I’d made this long-ish post around this time of year back in 2002.
> Directions
(Don’t try this at home!)
> Place CD-ROM on a small paper cup in the center of the oven. The CD-ROM should be at least an inch above the bottom of the oven and far from the sides.
> Turn out the room lights for best visual effects.
> Caution! be ready to stop the oven when the CD-ROM starts to smoke. The smoke smells bad, and is probably bad for you.
> Set the oven on high for 5 seconds.
> Watch the pretty blue light show.
> Turn on the room lights.
Look at the nifty fractal pattern etched into the aluminum. If you have several CD-ROM’s try some label side up and some label side down. In my experience, CD-ROM’s with thin ink in the labels work best. They are prettiest when the label side is up. CD-ROM’s with thick label ink start to smoke earlier. DEC CD-ROM’s work very well, as they just have a bit of black lettering on a clear background. I have a bunch of other CD-ROM’s with full color pictures that don’t work nearly as well.
> Remember, don’t try this with Mom’s Beatles albums!
>
This won’t harm a modern Microwave oven, unless you cook the CD-ROM too long and coat the oven with smoke. Old microwave ovens may have problems.
> If you can’t easily replace your oven, don’t use it for science
> experiments.
>
> The Science
The aluminum layer in a CD-ROM is very thin. The microwave oven induces large currents in the aluminum. This makes enough heat to vaporize the aluminum. You then see a very small lightning storm as electric arcs go through the vaporized aluminum. Within a few seconds there will be manypaths etched through the aluminum, leaving behind little metalic islands. Some of the islands will be shaped so that they make very good microwave antennas. These spots will focus the microwave energy, and get very hot. Now you will see just a few bright spots spewing a lot of smoke. The good part of the light show is over, turn off the oven. I suspect that if you leave the oven going much longer, the CD-ROM will burst into flame. This will smell very bad and may do bad things to your oven and house. Don’t do it.
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE
Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Always wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially
effective if your boss is the opposite gender.
Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re
doing. For example: “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”
Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Insist that your e-mail address be:
zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”
Put decaf in the coffee-maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car’s
windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep ’em
tuned up.
Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc them
to your boss.
Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.”
Don’t use any punctuation.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are.
At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at
passing cars to see if they slow down.
Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
Stomp on plastic ketchup packets.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Honk and wave at strangers.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, then eat the complimentary
mints by the cash register.
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
JANUARY 1, 2000
>In honour of Charles Schultz, who’s just retired Charlie Brown and the
>gang: Source: John C. Davenport, The Dallas Morning News
>
>Most cartoon characters remain frozen in time. Though they’ve been around almost 50 years, the members of the Peanuts gang are in some unspecified elementary school holding pattern. But what if they had been allowed to age like the rest of us? With apologies to Charles Schulz:
>
>Charlie Brown:
>Operates Good Grief Counselling Inc., which specializes in manic-depressives and people who are just having a bad day. Moonlights as a pitching coach at high school and college levels. Married to Marcie. They have a roundheaded son who wears glasses.
>
>Linus:
>Developer of Security Blanket Software, which is a hot item on the New York Stock Exchange. Worth millions but is actively involved in charitable causes, including the Great Pumpkin 5K Fun Run every Halloween. Only man who makes Bill Gates nervous.
>
>Lucy:
>Serving her seventh term in Congress. On her third husband. Claims she
>hasn’t thought about Schroeder in years, but the background music on her answering machine is Beethoven.
>
>Schroeder:
>After years on the classical performing circuit, he runs a piano bar in
>Carmel, California. Won’t let anybody lean on his piano.
>
>Sally:
>Never quite got over being spurned by Linus. Has a cat named Sweet Babboo. Sells Mary Kay.
>
>Peppermint Patty:
>Women’s athletic director at a Midwest university. Her fashion credo:
>”Sandals go with everything.”
>
>Snoopy:
>In dog years, he’d be 350. What do you think would’ve happened to him?
>Linus has created an endowment at Daisy Hill Puppy farm in Snoopy’s memory.
>
{I wonder what ever happened to the “Little Redheaded Girl”?]
Theatrical Buddha Man 